Baby Broke Me and My World
by paintedallup
Summary: Sam/Buffy, Dean/Buffy


"How could you do this me, Sam? _How_?!"

I'm singing the same old damn tune that has been haunting me from the beginning, all eyes on me as I sing until my lungs give out, _'my boyfriend turned into a evil son of a bitch and brought the world to it's fiery end, again.'_

And every time it happens, their kiss still fresh on my lips before everything begins to fall to pieces, I love each one of them like there is no tomorrow (in this case their might not be) and that makes it so much harder.

(as those lips I've kissed over the years fill to the top with blood)

His fists bury themselves into my flesh, after they finish up choking Dean like they wouldn't think twice about killing him (which blood do you think is stronger, family or demon?), one after the other but even with that whore's blood running in his veins I'm still the one that comes out _victorious_.

(my heart wouldn't say the same)

But as he leaves I can only watch his back turn on us (giving up everything for power, giving up us) and I knew that my skin had been untouched but he'd done so much more to this old heart of mine, crushed it right before my very eyes.

Something that has been done many times before but this time it hurt way more then I ever thought it would.

-

"Are you sure you're okay, Buff?"

It didn't take long for everything to sink in, another _'baby, done me wrong' _(and this one had been almost human, or so I thought), and the tears were burning at my eyes and a few slipped down my cheeks for the world to see.

(if I reached out I would be able to touch the ones that were hidden deep on his cheeks)

"I'm fine, Winchester-"

Before this soldier could turn her face to stone once again, years of wear and tare can do that to anyone (tears in my line of work are useless), he wrapped me in his arms like Xander and Willow did _once-upon-a-time _and everything I'd been holding on to came flooding out.

"Damn him! God, Dean, I loved that son of a bitch so much, how could he?"

This new sorrow gripped both of us harder then anything else had, our nightmares had come to life because of a bit of red, and all we could do was hold on to each other tighter then we ever had before and let the tears take us over.

(and then it was time to pretend these two soldier's hadn't lost it)

"I don't know, Buffy, I just don't know."

-

When it was all over and done with, the world with a hole in it that Sammy made (and soon it would end up bleeding to death) everything happening a second, it only took a second for everything to fall to pieces.

(the only thing I savored was my blade in that whore's belly, finally)

Just one taste of blood had done us in, had ripped all our hearts to ribbons, and had sent the whole world to hell.

The light had cleared, the threat was laying dormant for now (waiting until it was show time) I found hands wrapping around me but this time they weren't the hands of the man that had comforted me but the one that had hurt me so _damn_ much.

"I'm so sorry, Buffy, I-I couldn't stop myself, please forgive me."

(the word that had brought out the fists of my lover came to me '_monster_')

I felt Dean's hot gaze on me, as I lay limb in the arms of someone that had tore into me both on the inside and out (and turning his back on us both), and I knew that he would welcome Sam back with lies and fake smiles because he's all he has but that doesn't mean I have to.

Just as quick as this whole damn mess had unfolded before me, and it isn't over until the world burns down (thanks to my baby), I escaped from his hold afraid that these hands of his would burn me some more.

"I can't, not now, maybe never. You hurt me so much, Sam, so _damn_ much."

Before I could see the hurt that was spreading across his face, the same one that had caused me so much more pain then I could ever inflict on him (even if these fists were dying to), my back turned on him like he had done to me just hours before.

"_Buffy_!"

-

"How is he?"

I'd left the moment I had the chance, I didn't need those arms around me any longer, and a few days later I found a grinning Dean at my door with all my stuff.

(most of it reminders of the good times before the bad started raining down on it)

I knew then that he wasn't going to ask me to come back, at least one of us got the chance to leave and pick what they had left of their hearts off the ground, but if he had I would have done it for him in a second.

(the only one I had left to lean on, the only one that hadn't left me broken)

"He's hurting pretty bad, Buff, plus it didn't help when I said the very same thing to him last night. I always hated fake smiling."

I could see what all of this was doing to him, I started seeing it the moment we saw Sam's blood smeared lips, but like with everything else he was pushing through it with a brave face.

"You shouldn't have to do it, Dean, but I understand why you did."

The both of our grins, one that this time was anything but fake (it was for me and I wore one just for him), slipped away when we started to talk about Sam.

"Do you regret leaving him, Buffy, even a little bit?"

The need to get away from Sam and this whole situation had made me push him away (but not has hard as I wanted to) and turn my back on them and every time I thought about it I knew I had done the right thing.

The only thing I regret is leaving Dean as well.

"Not a single bit, I need time to figure this whole mess out before I even think about seeing him again and I don't know when or if that will ever happen."

"But hey at least you got one Winchester to keep you company and he's so much better looking."

The masks were put back on, our eyes were dry for the first time in days, and just like in every horrible thing in our lives (which is beyond normal) we would make it through but this time we had each other.

(for the first time in all my years, filled to the brim with endings rather then beginnings, I wasn't alone)

"Yeah, I have you and you have me, what else could we ask for?"

"I would ask not to die with the rest of the world, and why not throw some world peace on the side?"


End file.
